Art of asking questions
Questioning or Asking Questions
When working with organisations as coach and consultant, I sometimes hear managers questioning their subordinates on work updates. Usually, the questioning is on the following lines
- Why is this work not done?
- Who will do this work?
- Why can’t you change?
- Whose responsibility is this?
- Can’t you use your common sense?
- Whose mistake it is?
- How many times do I tell you?
- I have been asking you so many times; why are you not answering?
This type of questioning makes the subordinate feel sometimes guilty, often shameful and angry. The body language as an effect of these emotions are displayed in
- A lowered gaze and stooped posture
- A non enthusiastic “Will do it”
- Giving tangential explanation
- Blaming others
- Mumbling excuses and
- Sometimes the employee answers back in a rebellious way.
These outcomes show that the employee resents the questioning which does not lead towards the desired healthy results which the manager may want. The way forward for managers in such situations is to ask questions than questioning. The following example shows the difference between asking questions and questioning.
A 5 year old girl was learning to draw and practiced her drawing skills in the newly painted walls of her home. Her parents tried to stop this with questions, “why do you draw on the wall? How many times to tell you? Why don’t you listen to me? The little girl would cry, throw tantrums and then continue to draw on the wall. One day her mother on seeing her draw on the wall asked her a question, “where else you can draw?” The child thought for a while, showed a note book and from then on started drawing in the book.
A question for you to ponder over …………..Are you questioning or asking questions?
A.Geethan-Voice of Nibbana
