Future Planning – Formula of 50/50
- On the Spot-A 50\50 formula for constructing future in the present
I will be talking about how our need to control future stops us form using the power in the present.
As a psychotherapist as well as an organizational coach, I have met many people at various age group and at different levels of the society being desperate for various reasons. Some of the experience of people I met were, a school student stating, I go blank when I go to the exam hall, an adolescent being concerned about being teased by friends, a young couple being apprehensive about whether their marriage will workout or not, a business man being preoccupied with a thoughts of expanding business and his competitors invasion, even many young men scared of their own health and largely parents concerned about the their children.
The running theme behind the above examples were “what will happen if something unbearable or un manageable happens or what if we end up as a failure and what will others think of us.” Though the situation and context are different the underlying emotion behind the theme was , “concern about future” which lead to an anxiety.
How do we know we are anxious? Each one of as may experience the following symptoms at different proportion. Some of the symptoms are, our thinking stops for a while, a slight increase in heartbeat or some may experience moderate or high palpitation. some may feel a discomfort in abdomen area , for some their palms may sweat and usually along with these symptoms our breathing is shallow. Having these internal reaction we show to the outside world a desperate need for solution. We may expect others rescue us and when they don’t us we may show anger towards them or get frustrated and withdraw.
One of key reason for anxiety is the need to the control future. The need to control future the fuels anxiety and due to anxiety the need to control future enhances. Metaphorically it is like putting the fire off using petrol. The way out of this loop is the 50\50 formula.
Give your 50% attention to current possibilities in the present and allow 50% space for your spontaneity in handling the future which may unfold with its mystery and surprise. I will share how I handled an anxious situation using this 50\50 formula. I was about to meet a CEO of a company and ask for 10% increase in my fees. If I don’t get this increase it will not viable for me to continue my working with this company for a long time which will also be a loss for me. I wanted the meeting to end up in my favor and this was adding to my anxiety. I applied my 50\50 formula to myself. I used 50% of my energy in preparing for the negotiation. I made a rehearsal at home how to ask for an increase, collected sufficient data to back up my request and I also shared with my colleague how I am going to ask for the increase and took a feedback. After these practice I stopped my preparation telling myself, “I have done the 50% what I can do in the now and the next 50% I will be spontaneous and use my intelligence on the spot”. The next day I met the CEO and I spoke about my service and showed few data how the organization is benefiting from my work . I spoke about my proposal to increase in fees being in pending for a long time and I requested for an increase”. The CEO agreed to increase, instead of me asking for 10% I spontaneously asked how much he would like to consider if he can give an increase. He said an amount with a hesitation and I agreed immediately. He offered an increase which I cannot refuse, 35% increase in my fees. This is the benefit of having a space for spontaneity which gives scope to welcome surprises. Hence remember the formula when you spot yourself with anxiety use 50% to prepare in the now and allow 50% for your spontaneity to work while you encounter the future.
